It’s the final countdown…

Happy Friyay, friends! We’re officially one month and a handful of days away from the big one. The 3-0. THIRTY! Eeeeek!

I had a busy October. First up…

DISNEY!!! I’m actually glad that I got to experience Disney for the first time as an adult. I was interrogated by storm troopers, ate lots of cotton candy and dole whip, and didn’t make it to the fireworks because I’m old af… oops!! But, we had soooo much fun!

 

Doing barrel rolls and figure eights and sweeping through valleys at 400 mph in an L-39 Albatros fighter jet was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. And we didn’t even vomit or faint! Happy golden birthday to you, Kristi! Let’s go somewhere cool and jump out of one next time ; )

 

Lastly, Happy Halloween! It’s one of my favorites, but I haven’t dressed up in ages. This year I decided to take a trip down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty (I hope you sang that as you read it). Also, shout out to last minute costumes and shenanigans in WeHo… #40inabrownpaperbag #cannibal #willyoubetheaxltomyslash ♥

 

So, I’m thrilled to say that I’ve met and/or planned all of my Dirty Thirty goals with the exception of TWO:

(1) I haven’t found my cause of choice

(2) I haven’t had a photo taken of me

Also, I’m not totally sure where the photo thing came from… I’m guessing I was new to the city and started following a bunch of LA-based photographers on Instagram with profiles full of “cool girls” and thought it looked like fun. Truth be told, I don’t really meet the LA cool girl criteria (aka smizing in a bar bathroom mirror, rockin a black bodysuit with a plunging neckline, high-waisted mom jeans and clear aviators). Not for me… #sorrynotsorry. Needless to say, I don’t really care about having my photo taken, especially since I decided to embrace all the food (and all the curves) this year. But, I do want to start focusing on being more selfless and giving back, whether it’s for one cause or twenty.

As it gets closer to my birthday, I feel incredibly grateful while reflecting on lessons learned and wondering what the future holds. Tbh, I have no expectations for 30. I’ve found a comfortable place living in the present, enjoying the happy times and learning from the shit ones. Also, I may or may not have written the sequel to Baz Luhrmann’s “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen.” If you don’t know what song I’m talking about, it’s likely you were born after 1990. In that case, let me impart some wisdom on you, friend.

  • YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD FOR DISNEY!
  • Practicing gratitude is a fantastic way to put a smile on your face.
  • Physical challenges can be medicine for the soul.
  • Find your tribe and hold on to them dearly. These are the ones who will support you through thick and thin.
  • Running away will NOT solve your problems. Life will strip you of your happiness if you can’t confront your problems and accept the outcomes. That being said…
  • Not everyone has your best interests in mind – learn how to let those people go.
  • Set goals and reach them, but only if it makes you as happy as you thought it would. There is no harm in changing course.
  • Be vulnerable. This is a tough one for me. I’ve always associated vulnerability with weakness, which is just NOT RIGHT. Don’t be so fearful of getting hurt that you close yourself off from love and joy. How do you get to that vulnerable place? Good question. I’m still figuring that one out. But, you can start by being honest with yourself. And then talk to someone if you need to. Go to therapy if you need to. There is absolutely no reason to be trapped in a glass case of emotion. And I can promise you one thing – your true friends will not think you’re an idiot for ugly crying over too much wine (love you, Tesi ♥).

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I’ll probably have oooone more post on this blog before it’s all over, and it will almost certainly be after I turn thirty. So, I have ONE thing to ask of you all for my birthday – PLEASE!! Reflect on your life. I hope it makes you grin from ear to ear. If it doesn’t, make some changes. Make them today! Life is too fucking short and beautiful for you to step away from this post without a smile on your face or a plan to put one there. And last, but not least…

May all our biographies contain at least one shocking twist.   – Morley

I swear, I’m an introvert…

It has been brought to my attention that I’m being kicked out of the introvert club because I’m too social… Honestly, there is truth to this accusation.  I can’t sit still for two seconds! But, I’m pretty much always exhausted, soooo I really do need more time than I give myself to recharge. However, I’ve determined I’ll likely end up an old lonely spinster (with an incredible library of books and a peaceful home on a coastal cliff in Oregon #notevenmadaboutit). What I’m saying is,  you can’t kick me out because I’ll get plenty of introvert time when I’m still single at the ripe old age of 65.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Alright, moving on!

I’ll start with my latest adventure, which took me to what I could only describe as paradise on Earth – an oasis of crystal blue waters surrounded by fiery red canyons in the middle of nowhere Arizona. Havasu Falls is part of the Havasupai Indian Reservation, hidden just inside the Grand Canyon. It is 100 miles from civilization and 10 miles in from the trail head. There are only three ways to get things in and out of the village: hike, mule, or helicopter. We decided to strap on our packs and hike in the good old fashioned way, blisters and all.

“Carrying your pack is a rite of passage,” they said.

“You’ll feel so accomplished,” they said.

Meh. My feet and shoulders disagree, but I guess now I can claim to be a total badass. Even though I ate shit a few times. Because I have the motor skills of an infant. I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s get back to the story…

So, the trail begins with a 1,000 foot descent over the first mile and a half or so, dropping you into the canyon. Getting back out of the canyon after having hoofed it roughly 30 miles in the desert sun was as awful as you might imagine. Climbing the canyon walls with little assistance save for wet metal chains and wooden ladders was abso-fucking-lutely terrifying, but SO WORTH IT! Bucket list worthy, for sure. #Havasu2018 #whosdown

 PS – Permits to get into Havasupai are nearly impossible. Special thanks to our group (specifically, Lizzy) for calling incessantly for weeks before getting through!!!

Last, but not least, just a quick update on my goals before I go – I’m killin it, so I feel like this deserves bullet points. Also, remember during my last post when I said I was burning the wick at both ends? You know, I suppose I can’t deny the closet extrovert accusations after checking out my calendar for the next couple of months… oops.

  • Havasu Falls – CHECK!
  • I’ve been painting again and I honestly forgot how therapeutic it is! I should add that it’s also extraordinarily therapeutic to drink an entire bottle of wine while you paint. Side note – I feel like committing to an entire bottle pretty much proves that I don’t have commitment issues. Plus, antioxidants, am I right? Okay, I’ve made my point.
  • LA Dodgers game and helicopter flight over Hollywood this weekend – yay!
  • I’m rethinking the whole rage at a music festival idea since I’ve actually already done that (and I skipped Coachella… gasp, I know). I think I’ll just go to a bunch of random shows instead since I’ve already attended/bought too many concert tickets at this point. While we’re talking about it, someone please take my debit card away. I’m out of control.
  • Book of Mormon in June. Nothing like some good ole’ religious mockery. Can’t wait!
  • Brushing up on my Spanish – partly because it’s a goal, partly because I’m thinking about Costa Rica in December.
  • So, I cleaned out my closet, but I’m still figuring out how to dress like a proper adult. This one is going to take a while… mostly because I don’t care that much.
  • Not criticizing my body – I almost talked myself out of it, but then I decided to go ahead and post that pic of my pasty, out of shape bare stomach on Instagram. Fuck it!

So, I feel like I end each of these posts with thoughtful introspection, so I’ll stick to that. To make a very long, complicated story a little shorter – I reconnected with long lost family this month. It was a great reminder of how overwhelmingly complex people are and how that complexity is magnified by our interactions with each other. I’ve been humbled by the unique struggles that everyone faced after my father died ten years ago. It was an experience that I have a difficult time putting into words. What I can say for sure is that we all have our own bag of shit. We also have the power to figure out how to deal with it. We get to decide what’s painful, what’s beautiful, what’s overwhelming, and what to do with all of the things that get thrown at us daily (hopefully not a bag of shit, but you do you boo). I try my best to forgive people, to seek out other perspectives, and to breathe and know that I’m going to be fine no matter what. I wish everyone else could choose the same. I swear life is much more enjoyable that way.

Until next time,

CHEERS!

New goals…

Let me preface this by saying I’m still burning the wick at both ends. I didn’t think it was possible to do it any bigger, but I have been and I’m feeling it catch up to me this week. You’d think the last thing I’d do at this point is add a new goal, but if you know me or have learned anything about me up to this point, you’ll notice that I can’t sit still for very long. I realize that I’m a hot mess.

I mean, in a perfect world I’d be making cold pressed almond milk and raw goji berry pudding for breakfast and I would have a new gym by now… yes, it’s been a few months… judge lightly. The reality is that my exercise routine consists mostly of walking three (and 1/2) blocks to work while I chug coffee to make up for a lack of sleep and sweat out the liters of rum or cabernet sauvignon still rushing through my veins. SO, all of this has led me to a new goal (one that doesn’t mesh well with embracing the curves and eating all the sour patch kids). But, here’s the deal – I need to take better care of myself. New goal – get more sleep and go to the f****** gym! It’s literally that simple.

I’ll be posting here again after I backpack Havasu Falls – if you aren’t familiar, look it up!!! It’s one of the most beautiful places on the planet and I can’t wait to mark it off of my list next weekend! In the meantime – wish me luck (it’s 20 miles round-trip), Happy Fri-yay, and CHEERS!

PS – new album out from K. Flay – Every Where is Somewhere. It’s my jam. Check it out.

KFLAY

 

How is it March already?

How is it March already?  Why is it that every year seems to fly by faster than the last?  I’m sorry to say that I do not have the answers to those questions, but I may have figured out how to successfully burn my wick completely out on both ends.  If you happen to be interested in learning how to do that, keep reading!  I can teach you how to show up to work like this on the reg…

Didyougooutlastnight

 

Keep reading and I’ll also teach you how to be impulsive and spontaneous –

Step 1: Chop your hair off!  Okay, I only took off two inches, but it was LIBERATING!

Step 2: Get a random tattoo!  Adding to my body of art and not giving a f*** who cares is on my list of goals.  Randomly getting one on a Thursday evening seemed like a great ode to my middle finger in the air.

Step 3: Let Siri route you through South Central LA at night… Oops… maybe don’t do this one.

Jokes aside, and I’m going to say this at the expense of being mawkishly sentimental and melodramatic, but having goals to come back to every few weeks has been a nice way to remind myself to be sincere, enjoy the moment and express gratitude for the opportunity to have them, as crazy as they may seem sometimes. I might be playing a little too hard and I’m hoping the lack of sleep is better for my soul than it is my heart (I mean soul theoretically and heart in a literal, medical kind of way).  Does that even make sense? I have not started drinking yet today, I swear!  What I’m trying to say is – I hope that having as much fun as I’ve had this past month is worth the lack of sleep and puffy eyes.

So, here’s my new haircut and tattoo… Don’t be jelly of my sculpted Greek God-like arm, it’s a filter…  : )

TattedUp

Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscience breathing is my anchor. Just a daily reminder to chill tf out and #breathe #tibetanscript #newhairwhodis

I have actually continued to knock off a handful of goals – took advantage of my National Parks Pass with a trip to Joshua Tree, did a legit hike, and tried new cuisine (freeze dried chicken and rice… ha)! We climbed to the top of the highest rock formation on our camp site.  Taking terrifying leaps of faith from one huge boulder to another and crawling through tiny little spaces between the rocks was worth the amazing view at the top!

 

We also got intimate with the flora and fauna of the desert – the Joshua trees and cholla cacti were the shit – the coyotes, not so much.

 

Alright guys and gals, if you’re still with me on this journey I hope that I’ve at the very least provided some comedic relief or possibly an inkling of inspiration.  I like to go against the grain and say that “life is long!” I know, my friends give me shit for saying it. But, what I mean is, it’s never too late to work on your mindset, situation, career, relationships etc. Live long and prosper, beautiful people!  Happy Friyay!

Until next time, CHEERS!

So, I survived Valentine’s Day…

So, I survived Valentine’s Day. I guess that’s reason to celebrate, right? It was actually a super fun day with an amazing friend that ended with us stuffing our faces full of sloppy nachos, which is a success in my book.

Now, I’m going to be honest. Blogging may be more work than I initially planned on. But, the response I’ve received from friends who are also searching for meaning in their lives has been incredibly refreshing. I’m not saying it was easy to leave my life in Tennessee behind and start over, and every day isn’t butterflies and rainbows, but I’m as close to fulfilled as I’ve ever been. I guess this blogging thing will be worth it if I inspire even one person to take a leap of faith and make life what they want it to be, whatever that may entail.

So, I guess you all deserve an update now that I’m a few weeks into the challenge. First of all, I can already tell that I’ll end up cramming some of this into the last few months of the year in my usual last-minute style because I am the absolute worst procrastinator. But, I have been planning some of the big goals (backpacking Havasupai Falls in April – whoop whoop!) and jumping into the long-term ones that are hard to mark through on a list.  I’ve also been adding to the list along the way. Namely, I’ve given myself the freedom to try new stuff and rekindle love for things that brought me joy when life was simpler.

dance

I’m not sure exactly what my face is doing, but we were KILLIN IT! I forgot how much I love sweating it out to club bangerz and hip hop.

conan

CONAN! ♥

conan2

For anyone who doesn’t know, Conan is my red hot ginger soul mate for life #teamcoco #galentines2k17success

rockclimbing

Trying new things, even though I ripped the skin off of my hands… OUCH!

I’m also making necessary revisions to the challenge as I go along. That whole “fly in a fighter jet” deal – it’s definitely going to be a helicopter ride instead because they want $3,000 for a 45 minute flight. Yeah, that’s three thousand dollars to vomit on myself. No thank you!

So, that’s where I am as I chug along on my journey to the dreaded 3-0.  Until next time, I’ll leave you all with a poem from my spirit animal, Rupi Kaur.

Cheers!

rupikaur