The Ultimate Guide to Owning 2017

I’ve decided I’m going to start referring to my silly little absurd blog as “The Ultimate Guide to Owning 2017.” I was originally going to go with… drum roll please… “The Ultimate Guide to Making 2017 Your Bitch.” The former seemed more appropriate for obvious reasons. Because I’m an adult. Aha ha haaa… Ba dum tss.

Can I just take a quick minute to talk about how ridiculous it is that I’ve been in LA for five months? I can’t tell if it feels like I just got here, or like I’ve been here forever. I’m already going on 50% of the dirty thirty challenge accomplished!!! I bet you all are waiting on me to tell you I’m taking a break now because I’ve been complaining about running myself ragged for weeks now. Pssshh, the only thing resting around here is my bitch face. Yes, my natural expression is off putting. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I CAN’T HELP IT! I’m a nice person, I swear! #rbfsyndrome

So, I’ve got a super quick update:

Goal #8 – check! The helicopter flight was baller. And, so I’ve been wondering, exactly how rich do you have to be to fly planes as a hobby? I’m going to look into it. Don’t mention any of this to my mother – she will literally die.

Goal #15 – check! Okay, so I mentioned already that I’ve bought so many concert tickets at this point, I’m struggling to justify a festival. And it’s only May ya’ll – I need to chill. However, I’m marking this off of my list. I’m actually not sure why it was on there to begin with. Hello, of course I’m going to see live music! This is kind of like when I took a trigonometry class in high school when I’d met all of my math requirements by Sophomore year… #unnecessary #nerdalert

Goal #24 – check! I’m reading four different books right now, which is insanity considering the fact that I refused to read ANYTHING for nearly six months after grad school. What am I reading you ask? A v v peculiar combination, of course: Bossypants – Tina Fey, The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath, American Gods – Neil Gaiman, and On the Road – Jack Kerouac.

Goal #27 – check! So, I’ve been to baseball games, but never MLB. So, I went to a Dodgers game and, honestly, the game was cool and the stadium was dope, but the Dodger Dogs were AHHHMAZING! You know what wasn’t amazing??? $17 for a 40 oz. Modelo… #thosehotdogsthooo


That’s it for now! If you’re still following along, bless you. Happy Fri-yay, loves!






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